Monday, October 20, 2014

I kill people for a living--but I didn't kill the YA Scream Queens!

Who me, kill a YA Scream Queen? 

Oh, please. If I was going to kill someone, don’t you think I would be capable of planning the deed so I wouldn’t be implicated? I’m a writer, for heaven’s sake—I kill off characters all the time.

Now, if I was going to kill someone I’d make sure to have a solid alibi. Have I mentioned that I’ve been at Disney—the happiest place on EARTH—for the last week? Every single Disney princess can vouch for me. I think I still have glitter in my hair.

I’d also never do the actual deed myself. Leave possible traces of my own DNA evidence behind at the scene for some plucky CSI detective to find? Hello…I’m not an amateur here.

That leads us to the, ahem, for-hire specialist. If I wanted to permanently silence someone, I would most definitely make sure I employed someone who would be meticulous and--best of all--quiet about their chosen profession. Think along the lines of The Transporter. And if that makes you think of Jason Statham, well, that’s never hurt anyone, right?

So in short, to be accused of killing a YA Scream Queen is just plain insulting. I do hope they find the real killers. Then again, if someone like me planned their murders, it’s highly unlikely.

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